The *insert swear word here* trousers


These trousers were nearly the end of me.

I unpicked the entire freaking things twice. This involved A LOT of swear words. Even more than usual. Now I’m Scottish and we take swearing to a whole other level. You could be excused for thinking it is a national past time – its not though. More its just a way of enriching our already rich and varied vocab. Don’t believe me? Just listen to Billy Connolly.

Anyhoo back to my *insert swear word here* trousers. Goodness knows why I made such a hash of these. I wanted to use this Ugandan kitenge fabric I picked up in January but it was too thin so I bought some plain white cotton to line them. My first and second attempts were to make 2 pairs of trousers with one pair popped inside the other to hide the seams.


First attempt: Frankly dear reader it looked like I was smuggling sausages. Waaaaaay too tight. Why why why? I’ve made trousers from this pattern on 3 previous occasions with no issues.

So i unpicked them and tried reducing the seam allowance.

Second attempt: Clown pants. Running for the bus would have been hilarious.

download (2)

Balls. Another hour spent unpicking.

Third attempt: I gave up trying to make it neat inside and instead just matched the 2 layers and sewed it up. Result? They freaking fit!!

Yeeee hah! Selfie high five!

So still no idea why they didn’t fit on the first 2 attempts. They look bloody ugly on the inside but are pretty lovely on the outside which makes the pain almost worth it?!

So from here on in they are known as my *insert swear word here* trousers. Loads of other bloggers name their new items of clothing so why shouldn’t I – albeit with a Scottish twist! 🙂

Do you name your new items?






7 thoughts on “The *insert swear word here* trousers

  1. Lovely photos. I like that fabric a lot and your trousers are a nice fit. Yes indeed we Scots can swear, well for Scotland. I never fail to amuse/appal* (*delete as appropriate) people at work with my x-rated Malcolm Tucker-style rants. There is definitely a genetic penchant for creative obscenities. I don’t really call my clothes anything, am just really glad that I have managed to finish something and that it gets over my *fitting issues* 🙂 Trousers look too frightening to make, so much fitting, although I used to make them for Sprogzilla all the time. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You should really ignore me. I only started making trousers for me this year and they’re surprisingly easy. I was just being an arse with these ones.

      God I love swearing. Only Scots or the Irish can use swear words as punctuation.


  2. I love swearing, glad to hear its a genetic Scottish thing! Though we Kiwi’s are generally pretty free with our language too 🙂
    I love the fabric you’ve used, its gorgeous! Good for you for sticking with them, I would have been far too impatient to finish them!


    1. I’m sure there is a bit of Scots in some of you kiwis hence your predilection for swearing!

      I will admit these trousers have taken over a month given the number of foul-mouthed temper tantrums I had.


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